BeigeJournal

Last night I turned on the telly and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a televised darts competition, complete with animated graphics, multiple camera angles, excited shouting spectators, slow motion replays, and announcers yammering on and on about obscure stuff. Can you imagine being a spectator at a darts competition? From your seat in the back row you see a guy’s back, and a target that presumably is being hit with darts, only you’re too far away to see where. They didn’t always show the dart board on the TV. Sometimes we just got a shot from a camera above the dart board, which gave the uncomfortable illusion that I was about to get hit in the testicles with a dart. It turns out that even though they don’t waste any time, a darts tournament goes on forever. Guy 1 throws his three darts (thump, thump, thump), then Guy 2 throws his three darts (thump, thump, thump), then Guy 1 throws his three darts, then Guy 2 throws his three darts, then Guy 1, Guy 2, Guy 1, Guy 2, and so on until time itself comes to an end. I went to bed before that. For all I know, those two are still at it.